MY STORY…

My name is Diana Gilmutdinova. 

I was born and raised in the Republic of Tatarstan, in the Eastern European part of Russia. I'm Tatar, Bashkir, Russian, and Ukrainian, with Greek&Balkan, Western Asian, and Native American ancestry, according to my DNA test. My mother graduated as a biologist. My father devoted most of his life to teaching striking arts and headed one of the largest karate schools in our republic. He was a spiritual seeker, intuitively discovering his truth and sharing wisdom with many students. As a child, I was surrounded by his dozens of esoteric books: Osho Rajnees, Eckhart Tolle, George Gurdjieff, and Jiddu Krishnamurti.

My father was alone on his journey with no teachers or communities with supportive souls, which impacted his ability to be at peace with his knowledge. His rejection of reality and, as a consequence - his alcohol addiction - didn't allow him to be a full-fledged father and husband, which also influenced my childhood and shook my family values. He died of abdominal cancer when I was 22. 

I graduated from Kazan State University as a lawyer. My specialization is arbitration courts. I always had respect for laws and any kinds of rules and systems (Saturn speaks loud, running my Aquarius sign.) Justice, honesty, decency, and loyalty are in my blood. I stick to these qualities, trying to develop them within myself, and I expect the same from people. Becoming a lawyer was the most proper path at that time.

After working for three years as a layer, I realized that my soul didn’t fully enjoy it. I started to feel that my potential and purpose were beyond it. Something called me. I began to travel by myself and visited many European and middle eastern countries, including Indonesia and Cuba, looking for my purpose, getting to know myself, and breaking my old beliefs. Diving into different cultures helped me to embrace my spiritual aspiration. In 2016 my spirit guides brought me to Southern California, where my inner work began. 

One of my first conscious steps toward profound healing was integration with plant medicines led by a professional team with a shaman Taita Juan Yaiguaje in Granby, Colorado, in 2018, who had already past away. At that moment, I was experiencing tremendous anger and resentment toward my dad. It all surfaced after years of terrifying childhood, and I didn't know where to hide from my feelings. I needed help in letting it all out. The plant medicine experience became a release for my soul. It brought the understanding that the healing process starts with working with the basis: the relationship with my parents, which later turned into a framework of my offerings. I knew it was time to look inward and listen. And what I heard is that my body is craving to move.

I was barely involved in dancing until the age of 27. My body naturally knew how to dance, but I was never passionate about dancing. Moreover, I never applied any spiritual meaning to it. I have started taking dancing classes in Los Angeles, focusing on my hips and feminine movements, allowing myself to express my sexuality. After a while, my sexual energy started talking to me, running all over my body. Something has shifted. I consciously watched how dancing affected my emotions. By carefully listening to my lower body, I noticed that simple hip circles could change my self-awareness. I dived into the feminine. A tiny inner voice made its appearance. It wasn't loud enough so I added meditation to my daily routine. I figured I needed to clean the unnecessary from the inside in order to start hearing my inner truth. 

Due to inner work, I provoked cycles of emotional breakdowns connected to the old repressed struggles and situations from my childhood and adolescence. It kept arising, and I wasn't always ready for that. Only after ten years I realized how strong those emotions were and that I still carry them throughout all these years even though my mind told me the opposite. Within the next few years, I was constantly working on my inner peace, destroying my old habits, letting go, and analyzing my relationships with my parents, friends, and lovers. Meditation removed most of my anxiety and blame, bringing more inner freedom for creation. 

I could finally hear my true desires without being blinded by destructive programs. I kept moving my body, which allowed me to be flexible in my mind releasing the emotional weight from my shoulders. Meanwhile, I went through a second wave of anger and aggression. This time, toward my mom. A lot of blame caused a deeper exploration of my family. The most beautiful insights came to me through that challenging time. 

I would call 2020 a turning point in my spiritual awakening. Something powerful started to constantly send me the information about the concept I needed to give birth to. I felt connected to the larger consciousness and downloaded everything by looking inward and listening. I was afraid to frighten away the flow of information. I decided to hide myself from everything, suppressing any affection from the outside world, that could change my vision. 

As a result of constant meditation, I cleared enough space to welcome the ancient wisdom in my bones, the ancestral wisdom of my lineages. But I didn't realize it right away. I started to get incoherent visions while meditating: images of wild animals, fire, hand drums, ritual dancing, wild forest, hunting, and the primitive way of life. It would pop in unexpectedly. I didn’t ask about it. It became an obsession. Not for weeks or months. For years. I waited enough time to make sure. I was running from it, denying it. It didn’t go away. 

I could feel the pressure of taking action and stepping into it, but I wasn't ready. I decided to take it slow and follow my gut. While putting the information together into something solid, I went through several depressions. Isolation, walking my path alone, and lack of support/understanding from the outside influenced my mental state. My mom was always with me through that time, even without fully understanding what I was experiencing. 

In April 2021, I got a chance to meet my shamanic teacher, Liana Xochitl Soria, who "saved my life" by offering to attend her training in Idyllwild, CA. Being surrounded by like-minded people and learning from them uplifted my soul in the most healing way. I confirmed that everything I previously received from the source wasn't a figment of my imagination but a call of my purpose.

I deepened the connection with my intuition and the unseen world. While going through my training, one more fateful meeting occurred. In June 2021, I met Erin Kerr, a spiritual leader in Wildomar, CA, a wise, kind, yet brave woman. I shared my dream about healing through dance, reconnecting with the inner power, and returning to nature, our roots, and the ancestors. Erin not only supported my idea but offered her property, giving me everything she could. Our meeting marked the beginning of a profound, productive work. For the next year and a half, I facilitated seven dancing ceremonies aimed toward healing family wounds through reconnecting with the inner wild woman.

After each practice, I analyzed the result, painstakingly adding something new and adjusting my offering based on the participants' feedback and the outcome I could observe. Each ceremony was unique. The working process revealed more information until it felt complete. My first steps were terrifying. I wasn't sure what I was doing and where it was taking me. Self-doubts and emotional ups and downs significantly slowed down the creative process. But women loosen themselves and connect to their Inner Wild Woman, motivated to keep going. 

In 2022 the Ancestral Lineage Healing course by Daniel Foor, Ph.D., a ritualist, and educator, also added a great perspective to my offering. The connection with my ancestors through his practices rooted my aspiration to make ancestral healing the base of my offering. In 2023 after gathering experience and merging all the pieces, I gave birth to the program I worked on for years so those who hear the call can benefit from it and change life direction most radically.